Where Is My House?!? Setting a cleaning routine, why I can't seem to, and why Clean Mama is the best website EVER
At least once a week I look at my husband and ask "Where is our house?" The answer is usually "I don't know."
I can't blame him. I don't know either (which is why I asked). Somehow over the course of a week three adults and one child manage to create a tornado that throws stuff everywhere, and the only time we seem to have available to really dedicate to digging ourselves out is usually the weekend, and who wants to spend a weekend doing that? Case in point, in order to write this post, I had to clear two lunch bags, a pair of child's gloves, a copy of Lego Magazine, a copy of Ask Magazine (belonging to the owner of the gloves), a GameBoy along with its cord and charger (also belonging to the owner of the gloves) and a pile of mail off of the table so I could have space for my computer. I'd write at the desk in the living room, but that is inhabited by two computers, a printer, and stuff, some of which might actually be related to desk-like things. We're not slobs, I swear. We are however, a household always on the move, and when we are home we have tasks to attend to that take priority, such as making sure the smaller boy does his dreaded math homework and making sure that the mom does her dreaded college homework. (I only have 4 classes left; I'm working really hard at being more enthusiastic about homework. It's really hard.)
The holidays haven't helped. We were smart enough to do a big cleaning before all of the gift-giving madness began, but when all was said and finally done, we got enough stuff to replace everything we had purged. My next semester of school starts in two weeks, and I want to wrangle some kind of control over this cluttered museum of our lives before that begins, otherwise we're in for a really rough four months, especially my husband, who is amazing and crazy and does ALL of the housework so I can be a good scholar and earn A's and make the Dean's List. Thank you Husband. I'll return the favor when you start school, I promise.
So, how to establish a cleaning routine? The first step obviously, is to make sure things get put away. All of us are bad at this. The nine year old doesn't because nine year old's don't; my husband and I generally get caught up in something else, or set something aside with a "I'll put this away in a bit." I have yet to figure out how long "a bit" is. Really, the 21 year old is probably the best at cleaning up after himself, but that's because he is hibernating this winter and only comes out for food and to wash laundry. I haven't set foot in his room since the beginning of December; if I did I might be inclined to revert that previous statement.
Self-discipline it is then, and frequent reminders to the younger boy to pick up his things when he is done with them. It is also difficult for him due to his ADHD. By the time he gets into his room with his toy or whatnot, he's already been distracted by three different things, and the item is generally tossed on the bed rather than put on a shelf. He's getting there, but it's difficult.
Crashing around on the internet for "cleaning routines" and "household cleaning" led me to Clean Mama (https://www.cleanmama.net/ ), and while I'm not nearly as well-organized as I would like to be, I do see a light at the end of the tunnel, probably because I finally dusted the damn thing. Becky Rapinchuk has become my heroine. Her book Simply Clean: The Proven Method for Keeping Your Home Organized, Clean, and Beautiful in Just 10 Minutes a Day is amazing and after reading it the first time I was inspired to go on a cleaning spree and totally makeover my home. (I didn't. I have a little sense).
All joking aside, Becky has broken down whole-house cleaning into something that can be done in a very short amount of time, once you actually get into a routine *cough, cough*. She assigns a cleaning task to each day of the week as well as the daily chores that should be done every day (I'm looking at you, dishes) and stresses that you should only do that task that one day. For example, clean the bathroom on Monday, dust on Tuesday, vacuum on Wednesday, etc. I'd tell you more, but you really should buy the book because Becky is a great writer and makes housework sound interesting and even engaging, and because I don't want to get sued. This isn't an affiliate post, I'm just gushing about my new guru. As well as the main task for each day, she suggests that you also make beds, sweep floors, wipe down counters and do a general de-cluttering every day. (She also says to empty the dishwasher daily. I dream of the day when I will own one of those magical devices.) Focus on the main task for that day, and leave the rest for its assigned day. That's where my trap is. I will do a walk-through of the house and make a list of everything that needs to be done, then put all of it on my to-do list for that day. Is it any wonder that I don't get everything done? I've set myself up for failure right from the start. Then in typical fashion I feel disappointed in myself for not doing "anything" even though I may have folded and put away three loads of laundry, washed a sinkful of dishes and written a paper for class, and don't do anything more because what's the point? I'm never going to get caught up. (Depression is so wonderful to live with, I'm telling you)
I wrote my own chore list based on Becky's weekly tasks in my bullet journal, adding a few minor extras like "water plants" and "litterbox" because if I don't the plants will die and my cat will hate me; otherwise I have followed Becky's suggestions and have seen some improvement. The biggest hurdle for me personally is discipline, but I recognize that, and it is a problem in many areas. I need to remind myself that it takes 21 days to establish a habit, but I also need to do that task for those 21 days without any breaks. Guess who didn't take her vitamins last night?
We are reminded that things that aren't done today can be done tomorrow, and we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves for that. Eventually though, the tomorrows pile up and we're drowning in a sea of warm fluffy towels that need to be folded and put away...that was a really bad example. Should I be disappointed in myself for not putting dishes away tonight? No, but when I put them away tomorrow to make room for the ones I need to wash, I need to make myself put those ones away as well, or Wednesday I'm going to be in the same situation, holding steady, but not getting ahead, and that is going to lead to frustration and me avoiding the task, and the next thing you know, instead of snuggling on the couch with my husband as he watches football and I read, we'll be cleaning. AND I'll feel guilty because he's missing his game. (Depression, I hate you)
Here's the link to Clean Mama: https://www.cleanmama.net/
and here is Becky Rapinchuk's book, which is awesome and you should read:
Another great 'household book' is Cheryl Mendelson's Home Comforts: the Art and Science of Keeping House. I's kind of the Mrs. Beeton's for this age. It's a doozy of a book, but between these two ladies, when I actually own my own house I will know EXACTLY how to take care of it. Whether or not I actually do is entirely up to me...
Happy cleaning! (Yeah, that's weird. Sorry.)
I can't blame him. I don't know either (which is why I asked). Somehow over the course of a week three adults and one child manage to create a tornado that throws stuff everywhere, and the only time we seem to have available to really dedicate to digging ourselves out is usually the weekend, and who wants to spend a weekend doing that? Case in point, in order to write this post, I had to clear two lunch bags, a pair of child's gloves, a copy of Lego Magazine, a copy of Ask Magazine (belonging to the owner of the gloves), a GameBoy along with its cord and charger (also belonging to the owner of the gloves) and a pile of mail off of the table so I could have space for my computer. I'd write at the desk in the living room, but that is inhabited by two computers, a printer, and stuff, some of which might actually be related to desk-like things. We're not slobs, I swear. We are however, a household always on the move, and when we are home we have tasks to attend to that take priority, such as making sure the smaller boy does his dreaded math homework and making sure that the mom does her dreaded college homework. (I only have 4 classes left; I'm working really hard at being more enthusiastic about homework. It's really hard.)
The holidays haven't helped. We were smart enough to do a big cleaning before all of the gift-giving madness began, but when all was said and finally done, we got enough stuff to replace everything we had purged. My next semester of school starts in two weeks, and I want to wrangle some kind of control over this cluttered museum of our lives before that begins, otherwise we're in for a really rough four months, especially my husband, who is amazing and crazy and does ALL of the housework so I can be a good scholar and earn A's and make the Dean's List. Thank you Husband. I'll return the favor when you start school, I promise.
So, how to establish a cleaning routine? The first step obviously, is to make sure things get put away. All of us are bad at this. The nine year old doesn't because nine year old's don't; my husband and I generally get caught up in something else, or set something aside with a "I'll put this away in a bit." I have yet to figure out how long "a bit" is. Really, the 21 year old is probably the best at cleaning up after himself, but that's because he is hibernating this winter and only comes out for food and to wash laundry. I haven't set foot in his room since the beginning of December; if I did I might be inclined to revert that previous statement.
Self-discipline it is then, and frequent reminders to the younger boy to pick up his things when he is done with them. It is also difficult for him due to his ADHD. By the time he gets into his room with his toy or whatnot, he's already been distracted by three different things, and the item is generally tossed on the bed rather than put on a shelf. He's getting there, but it's difficult.
Crashing around on the internet for "cleaning routines" and "household cleaning" led me to Clean Mama (https://www.cleanmama.net/ ), and while I'm not nearly as well-organized as I would like to be, I do see a light at the end of the tunnel, probably because I finally dusted the damn thing. Becky Rapinchuk has become my heroine. Her book Simply Clean: The Proven Method for Keeping Your Home Organized, Clean, and Beautiful in Just 10 Minutes a Day is amazing and after reading it the first time I was inspired to go on a cleaning spree and totally makeover my home. (I didn't. I have a little sense).
All joking aside, Becky has broken down whole-house cleaning into something that can be done in a very short amount of time, once you actually get into a routine *cough, cough*. She assigns a cleaning task to each day of the week as well as the daily chores that should be done every day (I'm looking at you, dishes) and stresses that you should only do that task that one day. For example, clean the bathroom on Monday, dust on Tuesday, vacuum on Wednesday, etc. I'd tell you more, but you really should buy the book because Becky is a great writer and makes housework sound interesting and even engaging, and because I don't want to get sued. This isn't an affiliate post, I'm just gushing about my new guru. As well as the main task for each day, she suggests that you also make beds, sweep floors, wipe down counters and do a general de-cluttering every day. (She also says to empty the dishwasher daily. I dream of the day when I will own one of those magical devices.) Focus on the main task for that day, and leave the rest for its assigned day. That's where my trap is. I will do a walk-through of the house and make a list of everything that needs to be done, then put all of it on my to-do list for that day. Is it any wonder that I don't get everything done? I've set myself up for failure right from the start. Then in typical fashion I feel disappointed in myself for not doing "anything" even though I may have folded and put away three loads of laundry, washed a sinkful of dishes and written a paper for class, and don't do anything more because what's the point? I'm never going to get caught up. (Depression is so wonderful to live with, I'm telling you)
I wrote my own chore list based on Becky's weekly tasks in my bullet journal, adding a few minor extras like "water plants" and "litterbox" because if I don't the plants will die and my cat will hate me; otherwise I have followed Becky's suggestions and have seen some improvement. The biggest hurdle for me personally is discipline, but I recognize that, and it is a problem in many areas. I need to remind myself that it takes 21 days to establish a habit, but I also need to do that task for those 21 days without any breaks. Guess who didn't take her vitamins last night?
We are reminded that things that aren't done today can be done tomorrow, and we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves for that. Eventually though, the tomorrows pile up and we're drowning in a sea of warm fluffy towels that need to be folded and put away...that was a really bad example. Should I be disappointed in myself for not putting dishes away tonight? No, but when I put them away tomorrow to make room for the ones I need to wash, I need to make myself put those ones away as well, or Wednesday I'm going to be in the same situation, holding steady, but not getting ahead, and that is going to lead to frustration and me avoiding the task, and the next thing you know, instead of snuggling on the couch with my husband as he watches football and I read, we'll be cleaning. AND I'll feel guilty because he's missing his game. (Depression, I hate you)
Here's the link to Clean Mama: https://www.cleanmama.net/
and here is Becky Rapinchuk's book, which is awesome and you should read:
Another great 'household book' is Cheryl Mendelson's Home Comforts: the Art and Science of Keeping House. I's kind of the Mrs. Beeton's for this age. It's a doozy of a book, but between these two ladies, when I actually own my own house I will know EXACTLY how to take care of it. Whether or not I actually do is entirely up to me...
Happy cleaning! (Yeah, that's weird. Sorry.)
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